Real life story 1 >
Please allow me to share my experience from fostering to adoption. My foster carer always told me that I wouldn’t be adopted until she found the right person to adopt me. She always kept that promise, and I knew my dream would always come true.
It was quite difficult moving from house to house as I was used to being with other children in the house and when I moved it was just me and my Mum.
I felt really special when I moved as I was the only child. I had a big bedroom all to myself, It was great as the house was really quiet compared to my foster carers home.
I was excited to start my new school where I lived and I met lots of new friends, and the teachers were very caring. The school was small, but really supportive and I loved it!
After about a year, me and my mum went to court and I was officially adopted and I received my adoption certificate. It made me finally feel safe and secure knowing I was able to do a lot more. My official adoption day is great (almost like another birthday) and I’m usually off school at half term as it is the day before Halloween. So every year on that day my Mum always surprises me with something.
Overall I’m happy and content that I was adopted because it makes me feel like I’ve known my Mum all my life, and also we can still see my foster carer or speak to her whenever we want . Mum and my foster carer are really close friends. I think this has really helped our relationship knowing she is always there for both of us.
There are times that I do think about my birth parents and it makes me angry still. The older I’ve got I realise they didn’t look after me properly at all.
I have being adopted for 8 years now and my mum and I have a really good relationship. I wouldn’t change her for the world.
Real life story 2 >
As a child I always tended to befriend those who were more outspoken and always were themselves no matter what people would say to them. When I was in primary school there was a boy in the year below who, on the annual school talent show, would dress up as Dolly Parton, wig and all, and sing her songs. This was his talent and what he enjoyed doing. As you can imagine his class bullies had more than enough ammunition to bully him continuously for his choice of outer school activity and as a result he didn’t have many friends in his own class.
This didn’t bother me and we were firm friends until I left for high school and he went to a different high school the year after. At the age of 16 I was having a conversation with my sister and she revealed to me that this boy was in fact related to me. It was such a strange moment because I had been friends with this boy for a good few years and never knew that we were related. I had often thought that we looked similar but it had never even crossed my mind that we might family.
I decided not to tell the boy this as I have always not wanted to be in contact with any of my birth family, even though this has been difficult what with living quite close to them. But it is a decision I made as soon as I was old enough for my mum to ask me whether I would like to meet any of them and it is a decision I will stick by because I feel I was blessed with my adoptive family and I don’t need anyone else.
Real life story 3 >
I have been adopted for over 10 years and couldn’t be happier with my adoptive family…before that I was in care for 2 years though didn’t really understand why I wasn’t with my mum anymore, but I knew it was giving me a better chance in life.
When I moved in with my adoptive family, I became close to my new sister, telling her things that I wouldn’t tell anyone else.as I got older I became curious about my past and blamed myself for whatever had happened to me. Then one day I received a letter from my birth father saying he wanted to get in contact with me. He had left me and my mum when I was very little and after my mum had died he didn’t want anything to do with my birth family.
I thought about this for a while and the received another letter. The letter had things in it about his life and I was angry that he didn’t bother to apologise to me. He didn’t explain about why he left or why he didn’t get custody of me when i went into care. I came up with my own reasons and became very depressed and sought out the counsellor at college.
After a couple of weeks I left the counsellor with more questions than answers and finally decided to tell my adoptive parents how I felt and what was happening. I started seeing a social worker who organised professional help for me with my depression. Finally someone was actually listening to me and helping me with my problems .I told him about myself harm and that I couldn’t tell my parents about it and why I was angry with my father. I saw a counsellor for a couple of months and was starting to feel better. I was able to tell my parents about my problems when they arose rather than when it all had become too hard for me to handle all by myself.
All the help I have received helped me to feel comfortable and happy with who I am. I got so much support from my family and from professionals that I couldn’t have asked for any better. Support is needed for adopted teenagers but we are always left alone a couple of years after being adopted. We are in the background and forgotten about until we scream for attention.
My adopted family have done so much to help me and I love them all the more for it. They are the perfect family for me. Most of the time I forget that I’ve ever been adopted. I love them so much and couldn’t imagine being with another family.
Real life story 4 >
There it was out of the blue at one in the morning a message on Facebook saying “Hiya! I’m your birth mum and I’m always here for you”
I’ve always known my life story and even meet my birth nana and auntie ever year but what was I going to do?
I was a typical 15 year old with my head full of stuff about dying my hair, prom dresses and what to do with the rest of my life but wasn’t prepared for this!
I told my parents after a couple of days and they went ballistic but it kind of ended up being my fault for some reason. I hadn’t done anything wrong and just didn’t know where to turn . My friends at school didn’t understand adoption stuff (and I didn’t advertise it anyway) and no teenager wants to talk about big stuff with their mum and dad-no way!)
Soon after I got a post on Facebook from some bloke saying he was my natural father and introducing me to my “brothers and sisters”. I was really angry. How dare they just barge into my world. I hadn’t asked for this and it just all felt out of control.
Anyway the Police got involved and it got sorted out and I get the odd random post now but nothing more. It really played on my mind and messed with my head though. I felt completely alone and got really depressed and just didn’t know what to do.
I went to see a counsellor and that helped a lot…just someone who listens but doesn’t judge you, where you can say what you like without worrying about offending anyone. Someone who is not involved and doesn’t take sides…
I also got a lot of support by meeting up with other adopted teenagers and realising that I wasn’t on my own and this made me feel less different and more confident in just getting on with things.
I’m 18 now and just got good A level results and my future is bright!! Some of this stuff has been a real challenge but I’ve got through it and come out the other end, wiser and stronger.
It’s normal when you are a teenager to try to figure out who you are but this stuff runs much deeper if you’re adopted, because it’s messier and complicated to get your head around.
Real Life Story 5 >
I was adopted aged 5 and I will always remember the day of meeting my new family. I remember the excitement I had when it came to the day I moved out of foster care to being in a loving home with real parents. Throughout the years I have always been open and honest about being adopted and people have always seemed interested.
Throughout primary school I was never bullied for it because other children didn’t know what adoption was, but everything changed when secondary school came along.it was year 8/9 when the bullying started to occur and I began to take things to heart. The things that were said to me were terrible for example… ”you’re a freak, you deserve to be alone.no one even cares about you.no wonder your parents put you into care.”
this carried on for months and after a while I blocked the open world and kept myself enclosed, I started to self-harm as I thought that the blade was my only friend.in the end my whole year hated me and I felt alone and tried to take my own life .I had a note prepared, had cuts on my arm and was unconscious on the floor.
My mum found me and took me straight to the hospital, after this everything got sorted out and I eventually started to gain friends again.
Now everything is perfect, I have contact with my birth family and see them every couple of months.my friends understand and I love talking about being adopted. I will never be ashamed of my parents.
It has been lovely meeting other teenagers like me who are adopted, it has been good sharing our pasts and our experiences. NEVER be ashamed of being adopted, be proud of it and be open. You are special in your own way.
From a girl like you.
Real Life Story 6 >
“Well at least my parents wanted me.”
Wow. I hadn’t expected that to be the comeback in the argument I was having with the girl in my PE class. It didn’t shock me that she knew I was adopted; I had always been open with people about it because my mum had always been open with me about it. I thought if people knew about it; it would mean they wouldn’t be mean about it.
This was in the first year of high school and it wasn’t the first time that comments had been made in school about the fact that I was adopted; it was just more disappointing because I had hoped it would have been different at high school.
Deciding to walk away from the girl seemed to be the best idea and I didn’t want her to see that her comment had stung. She wasn’t having this and followed me saying “Come on Tracey Beaker don’t you have anything to say?”
This was just the right thing to say to me, she quite clearly didn’t even know the difference between fostering and adoption. It sounds mean but I found it most helpful to feel sorry for her because she was so clueless she didn’t know Tracey Beaker wasn’t adopted. Although I carried on ignoring her while she made comment after comment about how I was never wanted, I thought about how daft you would have to be to not know the difference between fostering and adoption, and smiled inside and this became my kind of shield against her none of her comments would stick because of my shield.
I’m 20 now and at university. I found when I went to college and university people were much more understanding and instead of using it against me they were just interested to find out about it. Now I’m older I think bullying because of adoption only carries on because they don’t know about it.